Finally a free moment

So finally I have a free moment to sit down and write or rant, no sure yet what I am going to say.

first off; the big news, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Samantha. she's quite pretty and a lot of fun to be around. I met her through a joint friend Cayla. She was at Ball State for Musical Theater but now she has transferred to IPFW (Indiana/Purdue Fort Wayne) for criminal justice because she wants to work for the FBI or something like that.

its pretty cool. its been a long time since I had a girl to call my own.

I have also finished my new documentary called; "The Trials and Tribulations Of Tabletop Gamers" It turned out ok and I got a good grade on it as a final project.

I'm still working with Indiana Films and thats all going very well.

My fall semester finished up and its come out at a 3.166 GPA so the parents are both happy. Considering that I skipped a few classes here and there and I was uber busy too I think it worked out well.

Its Christmas Eve and I don't have that much to say but, well, Merry Christmas.

~Casey

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
But with nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem's gonna last
More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Do I float through the ceiling

Do I divide and fall apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
(everyone now)
So do you think that we could work out a psalm
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories
But, we all got wood and nails
And talk dirt at hating factories
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

test

its just whatever

haha, fall break? done and gone. (it was only one day though). I am doing most equitable. How have you been? is the college life what you'd expected?

One day?! Tell them that you work very hard and need more rest. ;) College is... college. There is nothing else to say about it. It's exactly what I expected--just living at high school with lots of people. Nothing special.

WHAT? JUST LIVING? no no no. you must be doing it all wrong then! go out and great the world, get inspired, get involved, go do something you've never done, do something you'd never think about doing. live it up while you can! thats what college is about. that is the point of college. its not about the classes or the degrees or the grades, its about learning and living and loving all you can while you still always have food you don't have to pay for and a house that you can always come back to. Its not about the tests and all that ballocks. live it up, do what you can, and then just a little more.

That's what everyone has been telling me. I'm not entirely convinced. :( And you made me feel very unsuccessful in a few short sentences. Haha. Regardless. I will be sure to take your advice into account very soon the next time that I second-guess doing anything ridiculously reckless. Thanks for the advice. ;)

I won't lie, that was probably one of the best sentences I've ever written. and I would recommend that you use that advice when doing something reckless. Mind you not repeated use but just to live some. experiment, push boundaries. its the exact opposite of what your parents or past teachers would say, but its really you living not them. Don't look at your life and base it on what I said either, don't say you're unsuccessful, you've made it to college. that is success, a major one too. you've been successful up to this point but take that success and branch out and use it to further yourself. learn from your right and wrong moves and grow as a person to find where you truely fit in, in the grand scheme of life.

this was the dialog on facebook between a friend and myself. I think its the most motivational thing I've ever said.

sort of makes me think that I am becoming a decent person. that's a scary thought. At the same time though its a bit calming too.

its calming because I was sitting in my car one night last week in a rain storm because my car is the only place I can go where its quiet. I was typing up a blog while the raid ran down the windows and it became more than a blog entry it was sort of scary. I wrote it more as if it was a narration behind a gritty dark film noir. 

its such a powerful narration that came word for word out of my head that I do want to use it as a film noir. but I don't want people to think that I am depressed or going  to shoot the place up.

I love nights like this. Really I’m not sure why.  I guess I like to see the weather reflect how I get when I’m in this place. I’m not saying that I hate this place or I’m depressed or any of that really. No, it’s more that I feel tired or even beaten.  It just seems like when the weather is like this it puts me in a good mood. It might be because the people here hate it. I mean, they all complain about it. Really, they have nothing to complain about. Who really cares though?

I don’t know. I’ve been at the end receiving all the complaints from an entire building of residents all 642 people here. I’m the president and always surrounded by people but still I am so very alone. I think because of my campus authority, its caused me to  be separated from these people on a intellectual level. but that doesn't change how I am separated on a physical level too.

I look around and wonder when everything is said and done, at the end of the day who will actually have a job. I hope I will. But I think that I can make things happen for myself. I mean I’ve just started a job with Indiana films now and it could turn into much, much more. 

But I just look around and see people who want to be here and want to make films. They desperately want a job in the field but they won’t do anything about it. It’s a lot of very lazy people. I mean, this year has turned me a bit cynical when I look at people, and think, wow, those meat sacks aren’t going anywhere or doing anything. 

thats all I wrote before I became to depressed to continue. but its still relevant in my mind, and you can see I've been trying my best to save my friend from becoming one of the aforementioned meat-sacks.

I guess its just what ever.

Good Food, Family, Nostalgia, and Terrible Service

Stardate: 0909.20
Captain's Log:

So, I've been put into a reflective mood as of late because I am listening to my Itunes on random by album and I just hit Phil Coulter's Highland Cathedral. its all slow organ/piano and sad bagpipes. It is quite good.

So today has been a good day, I am super tired but that's not today's fault. I went to church this morning, I finally got back into the swing of things and back into leading worship. It was a great morning for it because my piano player showed up intoxicated, it made me look even better in the eyes of all the old people. I think it's because I show up on time, play accurately, maintain a sober state, and dress nicely. I thought it was actually sort of amusing, the guy the church just hired showed up 20 min late, drunk, smelling like piss, and wearing a Pantera t-shirt. I hate to say it, but its my hope that Kyle doesn't last long.

After Church today I went out to lunch with my Grandma and Grandpa (mom's side) and we decided to eat at Eva's Breakfast Nook. While there we ran into my dad's set of parents. So I got to eat lunch in an old diner with both sets of grandparents.
The food was wonderful, the company was even better. The service was absolutely dismal however. I was very unhappy with the mental-retardation displayed by our clueless waitress. Before rebuking me, no, they were not busy. I was told that my dad's set comes to this establishment every week and they never have to wait that long. Ridiculous.

Nostalgia comes in, if that's the right word, in the actual diner. I had never eaten there but I have heard many many many stories from it. This is the diner that my mother worked at during high school and college. It is the diner that my parents met at. its got a new name and owner but its apparently the same old building, the same tables and chairs, the same paint on the walls. I don't know it made me feel good. I can't sum up words that describe my feeling state accurately enough.

who knows.

so in my next post, I shall describe for you all my eventful weekend.
until next time,
Captain out.

The Developments in my life

Captain's Log,
So with 2 weeks down in college I finally have an extended weekend that I can actually get sleep. On average I have been getting 4 1/2 to 5 hours of sleep a night, even on weekends. Weekends are actually a really interesting thing, I feel like I am a baby sitter for the freshman in my dorm. I really hate to see them getting completely smashed and then have something bad happen to them. So Friday and Saturday nights starting at 1am we (myself and a few others) set up chairs and wait for the drunk freshman to get back in. I really don't know if I am doing the right thing for these guys or not. I think that they all should have a bad experience at least once so they learn from it but right now I think they need to live and learn, so we help them get to their rooms and unlock the door, (for some reason drunks have a hard time with keys), we get them into bed or into a chair where they can have some water. Once they are in bed we instruct them to sleep on their side not their stomach or back.

I don't know, its not my job but I don't want to see these guys either dieing or ending up kicked out of school. I don't know what happened this weekend though, for some reason firefox's newest update is fighting with vista and doesn't load facebook. Who cares really I guess.
Its getting to the point thought I see some people, (meat-sacks) as completely worthless because all they to do is complain about how busy they are when they are only taking like 12 hours of class and are not involved in anything and also don't have a job. Its annoying.

I guess that I've complained myself enough so I think that it is an appropriate time to switch topics to the real reason I am in school; Film.

So for the first week in Film Genres we watched a film that I think really has had an amazing impact on my whole life. I had to watch it twice to really understand the comedy and the real point of the film, as I don't pick up on those things quickly.

Harold and Maude
An absolute fantastic movie written by Colin Higgins and directed by Hal Ashby in 1971. The story follows the perspective of a young guy, Harold. Harold is in his late teens early twenties. Harold is a guy who is obsessed with being dead, he has no friends, lives with his mother in a very large estate, and doesn't want to do anything that she says. The story takes place over a short span of time but in the few days that Harold knows Maude they fall beautifully in love. Their love story it true and sincere and it really is quite amazing. The only problem is, Maude, she is almost 80. So we have a 20 year old and an 80 year old. Some people can't even get past that. I found a much deeper and much more real meaning in the movie though. Maude inspires Harold so much to just live his life and make the most of everything. The movie used a Cat Stevens song to almost completely sum up the theme.
Well, if you want to sing out, sing out And if you want to be free, be free 'Cause there's a million things to be You know that there are And if you want to live high, live high And if you want to live low, live low 'Cause there's a million ways to go You know that there are Chorus: You can do what you want The opportunity's on And if you find a new way You can do it today You can make it all true And you can make it undo you see ah ah ah its easy ah ah ah You only need to know Well if you want to say yes, say yes And if you want to say no, say no 'Cause there's a million ways to go You know that there are And if you want to be me, be me And if you want to be you, be you 'Cause there's a million things to do You know that there are Chorus Well, if you want to sing out, sing out And if you want to be free, be free 'Cause there's a million things to be You know that there are You know that there are You know that there are You know that there are You know that there are

I thought that the use of Cat Stevens was absolutely fantastic for this film. I give this a 5 out of 5.

Next up on the docket is a newer film; Role Models.
This was a most interesting film really. I watched it with the ablsolute lowest expectations. I thought that it would just be 2 hours of bashing LARP. Wow was I wrong.
Movies have been on a kick as of late, I think it all started with Napoleon Dynamite. The current trend in comedy is that it has to be written for a completely uneducated crowd of moronic teenagers. Off the top of my head I would put the following in that list: Pineapple Express, Superbad, Knocked Up, Fan Boys, Step Brothers and about every comedy produced since 2006. (It probably looks like I hate Seth Rogan and Jud Apatow, well I sort of do.)
Role Models was completely different. The film was funny and created for an more educated crowd. Its a full story that makes a person feel something. For me, it really touched my heart because if plays up the LARP or "Laire" as it is called in the movie. First and foremost, I do not not LARP, I never have and I never will. The "Laire" does bare similar resemblance to the SCA (http://medievalrec.iweb.bsu.edu), a historical society that I am involved in where we dress like people of old and we fight. (very very very different from what they do but in the same mind frame.) By the end of the video it makes anyone, despite the amount of "cool" that their ego has been built up to, sit there and say, "damn, that's awesome."

4.5 out of 5 from me.

I really don't know how to review a movie, really how to verbalize what I really feel about a film. I am in Film Genres class right now to learn how to do that though. My movie reviews should get a whole lot better by the end of the semester.

I was going to review Inglorious Basterds but I don't feel like it right now.

So my academic adviser is trying to push me into pursuing a double major or at least a minor in photo journalism. I think it would be really kick ass to do too. I just can't work it into my schedule. Not right now, not without wanting to kill myself. I enjoy photography, I don't want it to become work. I did a photo shoot for a friend of mine last Saturday. She needed some new head shots to attach to her resume and I wanted to play with a new flash gun, new lens, and try some fake nude photography. We worked in my dorm room for almost 4 hours and then went out onto campus for another 2. All said and done I took 800 shots and we had a good time. I am still in the dark room for some of them but I feel like they will all turn out good. I've really been working on trying to learn to capture what I see in the viewfinder. Here are some that I have edited fully though:






And the final 3, I don't know which one I like the best. please let me know which one you think is the best!


I guess that's all for me this weekend.

in the words of Tom Baker, "Good Bile!" (if you didn't get the reference watch more BBC...)
~Captain Out

I've been so busy

Captain's Log:

So, I've been so busy this past 3 weeks that I haven't had time to really live. I know everyone says that Sophomore year should be the hard year but I don't know if I've taken on too much.

Monday I have 3 hours of class, a meeting for hall council that lasts about 45 minutes and then a club event for Medieval Recreations from 5:30 until 9.

this schedule is really manageable IF I don't have any homework.

Tuesday 3 hours of class, and then a nice break to do homework.

Wednesday, 4 hours of class, 2 1 hour meetings for both my clubs, 1 hour rehursal for church, then a 1 hour meeting at the end of the day.

I think that it is Wednesday that will kill me.

Thursday, 2 hours of class and the rest of the day recovery and homework.

Friday 3 hours of class, and then putting up with the drunk and high freshman.

I know its going to be a bad time if only 2 weeks into class I've already contracted a cold and was told to leave a class because I couldn't stay awake. I don't know if its the stress of the work or the work load or what really, but I've not got anytime when I can just be by myself, that is killing me. last year I had at least an hour a day with no interruptions. Now I have to put up with bros playing volley ball all fucking day. the smokers were at least a little more quiet.

so this is a short post from me because I feel like death and I need sleep.

I really wanted to write a review of a movie but I will get to that later.

Captain out.